look no pants
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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