Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
