Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
