6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
