I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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