so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
