Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Experience is the best teacher

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  (810): You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish (248): Experience is the best teacher http://tfl.nu/l23g
  Replies (2) Good night (1849) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She was lying the whole time!

  (310): View more from California

  She was a great actress

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was a great dumbass

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  (248): She was lying the whole time! (310): She was a great actress (248): I was a great dumbass http://tfl.nu/8lxg
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.

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  (773): hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her. http://tfl.nu/rlge
  Replies (8) Good night (979) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You can't special order awesome

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  (404): You can't special order awesome http://tfl.nu/116h
  Replies (14) Good night (3046) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"

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  (508): You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper" http://tfl.nu/17it
  Replies (22) Good night (1473) Bad night (3466)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.

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  (914): i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does. http://tfl.nu/xwvv
  Replies (13) Good night (6618) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.

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  (724): i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that. http://tfl.nu/tj9k
  Replies (6) Good night (5703) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  That was the greatest thing i have ever read.

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  (636): He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping. (314): That was the greatest thing i have ever read. http://tfl.nu/0exi
  Replies (34) Good night (7242) Bad night (2125)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples

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  (401): Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples http://tfl.nu/s1gx
  Replies (2) Good night (1585) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?

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  (515): Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/s6e2
  Replies (4) Good night (1739) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?

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  (518): Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings? http://tfl.nu/b1ds
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol

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  (317): Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol http://tfl.nu/rsq8
  Replies (8) Good night (1079) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.

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  (386): He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids. http://tfl.nu/ivvs
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant

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  (217): yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant http://tfl.nu/oubr
  Replies (4) Good night (752) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.

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  (361): I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed. http://tfl.nu/dhso
  Replies (0) Good night (568) Bad night (264)

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