R you on birth control?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
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Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?