Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Terrible idea I love it