Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Get your hand out of your ass!

  (734): View more from Michigan

  how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?

  (650): View more from California

  In your belly button

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  (650): Get your hand out of your ass! (734): how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..? (650): In your belly button http://tfl.nu/hvbh
  Replies (3) Good night (1004) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.

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  (856): its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer. (978): college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you. http://tfl.nu/udtk
  Replies (45) Good night (4495) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  I just gift wrapped bread.

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  (+44): I just gift wrapped bread. http://tfl.nu/h0i1
  Replies (8) Good night (4743) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.

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  (315): my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say. http://tfl.nu/ygp4
  Replies (20) Good night (6107) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.

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  (913): he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness. http://tfl.nu/hbrf
  Replies (10) Good night (988) Bad night (4616)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

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  (804): she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off. http://tfl.nu/ypig
  Replies (27) Good night (5879) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.

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  (630): Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on. (217): Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder. http://tfl.nu/huht
  Replies (13) Good night (8903) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us

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  (225): She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us http://tfl.nu/zfzd
  Replies (28) Good night (5265) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him

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  (608): He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him http://tfl.nu/0tzl
  Replies (6) Good night (1579) Bad night (2243)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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  (973): U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night http://tfl.nu/l1rw
  Replies (3) Good night (2422) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.

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  (410): The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/hr46
  Replies (5) Good night (3067) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!

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  (+44): He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again! http://tfl.nu/ztd6
  Replies (8) Good night (726) Bad night (1240)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.

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  (913): Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth. http://tfl.nu/51lq
  Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.

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  (775): I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do (1-775): So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch. http://tfl.nu/xajs
  Replies (4) Good night (448) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers

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  (509): Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers http://tfl.nu/a1f6
  Replies (2) Good night (398) Bad night (167)

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