If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Randomize
