I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
