Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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