I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
