I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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