Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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