When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
