I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
