haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
