I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
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I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
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I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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