It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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