Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
