pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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