Christians are straight up FREAKS
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
