maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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