he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
