Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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