hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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