was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
