you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
