why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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