we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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