i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
