Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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