i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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