I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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