I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
