Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
