Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
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Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
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I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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