Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
