May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
