He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
