People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
