Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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