so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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