Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
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There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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