I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize