i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
