Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
