I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize