A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
