I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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