do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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