I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so explain again why im purple
no
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize