You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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