The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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