Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
