3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
