I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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