that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
