she was so not down for the gang bang
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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