she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
