its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Drunk is not a location!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
