Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
