glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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